one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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