That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
