mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
