And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
