Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize