I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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