So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
