My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's the barista slut.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize