We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
