dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
