You're completely useless in the revolution.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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