apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize