I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
