I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
