3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
