I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
