you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
