I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
