We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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