why didn't you poke me back
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
