i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
