when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
