Just fell off a train. Bad.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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