I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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