How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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