I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
