Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
