I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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