It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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