If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need to align my fucking chakras
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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