The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cut my penus on the lid.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
