The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
