i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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