oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
