Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize