Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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