i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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