My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
