I'm jealous of your bromance
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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