but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
God, I missed his penis.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
