all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
