You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
