So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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