Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize