The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
