I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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