I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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