tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Come share oat with me in your robe
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
