New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
