I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
