so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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