i always forget guys have bellybuttons
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Vodka?
Forever.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
