Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
