So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
