I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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