I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
