he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
