did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
