im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
