I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
