I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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