btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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