just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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