so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
