yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
